Why Don't They Just Adopt?

In watching the reaction to the news of the Susan G. Komen Foundation cutting off some funding to Planned Parenthood several things come to mind. But the biggest one is the accusation that pro-lifers are not there after the mother has the child. Nothing could be further from the truth. The pregnancy centers around the country provide not only pre-natal services but are there with diapers, formula, clothing and other services after the child is born.
Another accusation is “Why don’t these people adopt these children if they are so pro life?” That is not true, either. They are willing to adopt these children but many roadblocks are put in their way. Please allow me to tell what has happened in my family regarding adoption.
In 1984 my husband and I decided to start our family. We first checked with the local adoption agencies to see about adopting an American child. I called three different agencies and was told we could not even get on the waiting list for an American infant. It is then we decided to go for a foreign adoption. We did some checking around and settled on Korea. We began the process and went on to our home study, which is where they determine your fitness to be a parent. Things were going well until near the end. We were then told someone had called the agency we were using anonymously, albeit the wrong division as they called the domestic part rather than the foreign, and thoroughly accused us of being child abusers. I have long thought I would have liked to meet this person who made the phone call. We didn’t even have a child then. This tore me apart. Thankfully the agency after investigating, even though they didn’t take the call very seriously for several reasons, finally approved us as parents after having the home study lengthened by several weeks. Not to mention the added stress. We did finally complete the paperwork, complicated by having to deal with two different governments, and pay all the fees (only six thousand dollars back then). Our son arrived in October of 1984 to his forever home.
Fast forward to about two years ago. My nephew and his wife began to look into adoption. They quickly determined it was going to be simply too hard to try and get an American child with everything they found. They finally decided on Moldova, a small Eastern European country, to adopt their child. They had to go through a lot more than we did in parenting classes and other things to prepare and show the agency they would be ready for a child. The costs had also gone up substantially. Thousands of dollars are now involved. They also had to make two trip to Moldova, each ten days long. The first to meet their daughter and start court proceedings, the second to bring her home after completing things in the Moldovan Courts. A lot of work and stress are involved in a foreign adoption.
Right now our son and daughter in law have four children in their home through the foster care system. They have been there approaching a year and a half. They would love to adopt all four of them, but the state will not release them for adoption. It is a difficult situation as the kids have really gotten used to being in their home. The children receive a lot of love and a stable home situation right now. They are all doing very well.
Suffice it to say, I would like to see a system where the children are protected, but there has to be a way of making adoption cheaper and easier. The process can be a nightmare. People having to go with foreign adoptions because of the difficulty of the process here is a shame. There are children waiting for their forever homes but red tape makes it so difficult. We need to get these children into homes.

We are three weeks into the new year and it has been full all ready. We had relatives from my side of the family over for Christmas. The weekend before we had celebrated Christmas with Pat, Myla and the foster grandkids. Having all of them over was a great afternoon of pizza, conversation, and everyone having a good time. Pat, Myla, and the foster grandkids were able to make it so we had a house full of people.Then the next day it was to the hospital to begin the procedures to have Ter’s kidney stones smashed which was a two day thing. It was two different
procedures on consecutive days. The stories along with that are for another time, suffice it to say there was little sleep and a lot of stress for three days.
The day of the second procedure Pat came to sit with me. I was really thankful as the first day had been a lot more than we had anticipated. The first thing when we met up was he told me we were leaving the building. I was a little hesitant as usually they want someone right there at all times while someone is in surgery. We did leave and he took me to the Nashville Farmers Market. It happens to be open year round and has a second building housing a very interesting food court. We stopped at one stand and ordered lunch. Pat ordered a large bowl of gumbo while I ordered a shrimp po’boy. The po’boy is a southern tradition being a sandwich made with plenty of filling. The best part was we had a wonderful time of conversation. I was really struck with the fact of how our son has matured in his twenty seven years. I am so proud of him and his wife for all they do in the community.
It has also been a time of reflecting on how life can be. Two family members were lost at the end of the year. First Ter’s sister’s father in law, Kelly Rewa, was lost in a horrendous fire the week before Christmas. Kelly was a very simple man who had great influence on those around him along with his wife, Bonnie. It was a great shock to all of us when he died. Then Ter’s Aunt Julie went into the hospital having trouble after a chemotherapy treatment. She went into a tailspin and died a few days later. She was a great woman of God and we will miss her greatly. We are still having a time wrapping our heads around the fact they are gone.
In all of this we are thankful we have our new church family around us. They are great support to us. We did officially join First Baptist Church of Fairview in early December. It is a good church home and we most likely will become more involved as time goes on. It was different for me to be sitting out in the congregation listening to the Christmas program rather than being involved after all these years.
The past year was full of many things and changes in our lives. Our move to Tennessee, and some revelations about my health. All of a sudden I was diagnosed with glaucoma, a huge surprise, and found my diabetes had progressed to where it needed treatment rather than just diet and exercise. There have been other health surprises, but all in all things are pretty good. We are getting active in Scouts again and have found some new friends in that area. The biggest change was selling the last part of the family farm and ending 120 years of family ownership of the property. There are mixed feelings about that and leaving friends and family back in the Great Lakes State. We will keep in contact, of course, and look forward to what God has for us in 2012.

Christmas Blessings

Hello Friends and Family,
Once again it is time to look over thepast year. This has been a year of major
changes in our lives and seeing the hand of God’s Blessing. We both hope this is finds all of you welland enjoying all of His Blessings.
The biggest change is we are now residentsof the pretty town of Fairview, Tennessee.
It is a long story, but it all began with Terry receiving a call he was oneof the company members listed for being “reduced in force”. He was able to transfer to their office in
Nashville Tennessee but we had to move VERY quickly. We had about a month to make arrangements forselling the farm, at least starting to get packed, and where we would live
until we could find a house. We livedwith Pat, Myla, and the foster grandkids for about three months until we couldmove into the house in Fairview near the end of July. We thank the Lord we had ready buyers for thefarm, the people who had rented the place for over forty years. We managed to get at least a good start on thesorting and packing before we had to pull out for down south and thanks to dearfriends in Michigan everything did get done. You can begin to be mind boggledat what you can accumulate in seventeen years of living in one place. Although we are continuing to sort.
We sold the family farm in July and ourold home has been transformed into a daycare, of which I love the name….Grandma’sHouse. How my Grandma Wingeier would
love the sound of all the little children running around. There is some emotion about ending one
hundred and twenty years of family ownership of the property but we know it is
in good hands. We were able to keep thepromise the three of us made when Daddy passed away to keep the place infarming for which we are grateful all around.
We are ecstatic to be closer to the “kids”and foster grandkids. It is only about
an hour to their place. They are doing very well and have been with Pat and Myla for a little over a year now. Carlos is in first grade, Jasmine is in kindergarten with the same teacher Carlos had last year, Adriana (Miss Mouse) and Emily (Grandma’s girl) are in a daycare they enjoy. Pat and Myla both completed their Masters Degrees this spring. Myla is working hard to get the hours in needed to obtain her license in Counseling. Pat is putting his to good use teaching Science in a charter school in Nashville. We are hoping the state will allow them to adopt the four kids. You have to know we enjoy being Grandpa andGrandma.
We are pretty much settled in the “new “ house and are enjoying the downsizing. It
is a blessing to have a pool in the back yard for exercise. I have had some health issues come up, some which were surprises, but things could be so much worse. We joined a new church and are
enjoying it greatly. Our address is now : 7797 Horn Tavern Road, Fairview, TN
37062. Come on and see us, y’all!!!

My Thoughts

After watching the national news this morning I feel compelled to comment on one of the lead stories. Pat Robertson, a well known evangelist, stated during his show, "700 Club", if your spouse has Alzheimers disease it is a cause for divorce. I could not disagree more with that statement which sent shock waves through the Christian and disability world.

When you marry part of the vows state, "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health forsakeing all others until death do us part." This indicates a long term, committed relationship, not until something goes wrong. Alzheimers is not an easy thing to go through, watching your loved one go down hill. In being transparent my family and I went through a loved one having dementia twenty years ago so, yes, I know what it is like. My mother didn't have Alzheimers in the classic sense. She had a condition known as "older age hydrocephalas" which had the same effect. We watched as she lost her mental faculties over a number of years until she collapsed, was finally diagnosed, and went non responsive for several months. This was a journey of a year and a half until she passed away. Did my father see this as a reason to leave her? Absolutely not!! He stood by her until the end. Yes, she was in a nursing home but it was because neither he nor I could care for her for several reasons. Not to get her out of the way. We made the decisions about her care, but Daddy made the arrangements.

It is not a large leap to see this could happen with disabled children or others. Rather then careing for them put them in an institution and sign away parental rights. It breaks my heart to read about parents aborting their children when they find the child will not be"normal".

In keeping with transparency, I am multiply disabled. I was born with Turners Syndrome, a form of dwarfism and have some of the complications it brings. I have severe hearing loss, glaucoma, diabetes and the list goes on. The list of medications I take is not short, but not as long as other, and some of them are not cheap. They keep me as healthy as possible and able to be with my grandchildren. I am thankful for my husband of thirty one years who has stood by me as these things have come along as we have grown older. There are times when my frustration about thing has gotten the best of me and I have snapped at him when it wasn't warranted. I apologize, but once out, like feathers in the wind, the words cannot be taken back. I am thankful for his patience over the years on many fronts.

Mr. Robertson, I pray you will rethink your position on this. Scripture states we are all "fearfullly and wonderfully made." We are "knit in our mothers womb". We are are precious in his sight and have contributions to make.

It Has Been An Interesting Week in My New Hometown

It is now midweek and time to assess the past few days. Things are starting to dry out a little from the rain which has been drenching parts of middle Tennessee. We had been watching the weather reports on Tropical Storm Lee as it came up through the Gulf of Mexico. The previous weekend of major Hurricane Irene had stayed far away from us but went over some relatives of ours. Thankfully they were spared any major damage and avoided injury. The rain started coming down in earnest on Sunday, really just pouring down. Our niece drove down from Kentucky in it so her trip took quite a bit longer than usual and boy, did her car get washed....free of charge. The temperatures crashed down into the seventies from the previous day high of near one hundred degrees. By the time the storms arrived it was now considered a Tropical Depression, but still packing somewhat of a wallop.

We had a great time with our niece, son, daughter in law, and grandchildren in spite of the fact we were not able to grill the hamburgers outside because of the weather. We enjoyed good conversation and were able to show our "new" house to Bethany. The only downer was the fact we ended up with water in the basement through the floor drain. We got out the mops and cleaned up deciding that if there were water in the morning we were calling the roto-rooter man inspite of the fact it would be a holiday, which usually means paying alot of extra money.

Sure enough there was water in the morning, Labor Day, so the Roto-Rooter man was called. He arrived several hours later and did clean the pipes but told us the problem was not in the house. It was the device attached to the house, known as a sewage pump, which is kind of like a giant garbage disposal. I guess it makes sure the "stuff", makes it from the house to the pipes down at the road. That made things the county's responsibility to fix. Therefore the bill for the Roto-Rooter mans service lower than it might have been. The man from the county was here and quickly fixed the problem on the pump. YAHOO!!! We shouldn't get a bill on that count. Hopefully we won't be dealing with water in the basement for a long time. He also told us the device on the outside of the house to tell us there is a problem with the pump isn't reliable. At least we know what to watch for now.

Tuesday came and it was time to go to the eye doctor to find out if the drops prescribed for my glaucoma are doing their job. I didn't have to take Ter to work so I could have the car because we still had the rental car from having the exhaust manifold on the TrailBlazer replaced. Not a cheap repair but still glad to have it done. That took a little off of me for the day. I left with what I thought was more than adequate time to make it to the doctor. Through several things, includeing a stop for gas, I ended up being about twenty minutes late. I was extremely thankful they still were able to work me in for the needed test. The results were good, the pressure in my eyes has come down nicely so my sight will be protected. I have lost some peripheral vision and see halos around lights but am very thankful the problem was found and is being controlled. The day ended with a trip to a neighboring town to look for a second vehicle which will make life so much easier. I will be able to take care of things while Ter is at work without the hassle of having to drive him to and pick him up from work. We looked at a couple of little pick up trucks and I think Ter's interest was piqued, which is good. It has been an interesting week so far and we will see what God brings for the rest of it.

Whew, Things Are Settling Down

I am sitting here at the kitchen table doing my first bit of writing on my new computer. It has Wi-Fi capabilities so I can work anywhere in the house...or go out on the front porch,deck, or patio. The computer was part of my birthday present and is greatly appreciated. It is also time to reflect on the past little over a month while getting settled.

Moving day, of course, was hectic with getting things out of Pat and Myla's, the storage facility, and getting them moved the fifty some miles to the "new" house. The essential things were put away while the rest was put in the garage and basement for later sorting. The day was made more memorable by the fact the grandkids spent the first night in the house with us. Now we could make arrangements for our things to come down from Michigan. Thank God for dear church friends who loaded the truck, a twenty eight foot trailer, mostly full to come down. Things didn't quite work out as originally planned but the company we hired got our things down here in good shape. Some friends came and helped with the unloading which included a dip in the pool. The weather was almost one hundred degrees with high humidity. The unloading went quickly. While the men were unloading, I went to a nearby town and purchased our new washer and dryer along with, unexpectedly, a new over the range microwave. It was discovered while moving in the one in place would do everything except warm food...not good. Things are now down to where final decisions will have to be made on things to donate, toss, or eventually have a sale.

The next step was to get our drivers licenses. Getting mine turned into an all day affair. My first stop at a license bureau was totally unfruitful as this office didn't handle out of state license transfers. The next stop showed I had forgotten my birth certificate to go along with my old license (you are required to have two proofs of identity) so a forty mile round trip back to Fairview was in order. While home I decided to grab our copy of the warranty deed to the house with the way things had been going. It was a good thing I did as you are also required two pieces of proof of ownership of property. I still ended up having to sign an affidavit stateing we actually lived at the address in Fairview because our copy of the warranty deed wasn't certified. I was about to the end of things when I flunked the vision test. I think more to the fact I misunderstood the gentlemans directions than my recently diagnosed glaucoma. This made for a seventy mile round trip to the eye doctor to get a form made out. With my third stop at this office, and over one hundred miles on the car, I walked out with my prize....a drivers license!! After all the hubbub I had Ter drive home because I was just plain worn out.

Things are settling more into a routine, which I prefer, and becoming more familiar. I am slowly learning the area. We are beginning to get established in a church. We have seen some interesting things here like buzzards hopping around the pool area then flying up to fence posts to look in the house at us which was a little disconcerting. We also found a baby snake in the pool filter when cleaning it...thank goodness it was a baby. Who knows what else God has for us here in Tennessee

Whew, what a week!

Well, we are home again in Tennessee after an extremely busy week. It started off over the weekend with us joining our friends doing some minstrel type playing and singing in Smithville, Tennessee. We had asked our friends if we could park our travel trailer at their house until we get into our "new" house. They quickly agreed and we were to join them for a cookout. They called and asked if we could come a day early and join them at the music festival in their new home town....and bring our instruments. Ok, we did. The trailer is safely at their home and off we went to the festival. What we did was walk around the town with our instruments stopping in three locations to play and sing. It was a real hoot with people taking our pictures and singing along with us. The last place was in the middle of an intersection downtown, yes, the road was blocked off for the festival so we were safe from the possibility of being run over if people didn't like our playing! We started playing and singing going into the old favorite, "I've Been Working On The Railroad". Some small children began dancing to our music with the encouragement of their parents. That was fun. We kept going and on a couple of the numbers we had the adults clogging (dancing) their hearts out. Wow, that was something to see. We had a ball and I'd do it again in a heartbeat....with one lesson learned. Don't bother with your instument case, just carry your instrument, you'll have less to contend with while walking around.
Wednesday rolled around and it was time to leave for Michigan to sign the papers selling our farm. The trip north was smooth with one exception of running into major construction along the freeway. They were resurfaceing and it ended up taking us two hours to get ten or fifteen miles. Can you say, "Make sure you have brought along things to do if you are the passenger?" Although things were made interesting by the fact my phone rang twice....once to handle paying for one of my medicines. I ended up putting it on the wrong piece of plastic and had to call them back to get it changed over. Wow, what technology has brought us! Taking care of things while going down the road! Then the phone rang again. This time it was a doctors office wanting to set an appointment for after we return from our trip. I'm glad I could put the time and date into my phone so I wouldn't forget it. The rest of the trip was pretty quiet, thank goodness.
We arrived in Michigan in time to drop off the trailer we had rented to haul some more things back to Tennessee. Then it was off to sign the final papers for the farm. It was an emotional time. The farm is in excellent hands and will remain in the farming industry. We've known the family for years both as friends and working with them in business matters. They are already working on putting up a new barn and building a HUGE pit for either "grey" water or the odiferous stuff. I can't imagine the size of the hole. We immediately went to the bank to deposit the check for the farm. I think we held on to it for a whole fifteen minutes!
Then it was back to the farm to pack up what was left of our things. We packed, threw out, and donated for the next two days. I did work in a good lunch with my very best friend, Mary, along with closing out one of our bank accounts to move our new bank. We managed to condense things quite a bit, but still have alot of things to come down. We will more than likely do more donateing and selling of things once they are down here. We had a quick cookout with Ter's side of the family on Saturday afternoon. We truly appreciate the fact Ter's sister and family stuck around to help with packing and took some things to find new homes for. We finally pulled out to start heading back about seven o'clock, we had hoped to pull out around five but kept finding things that needed to be done. We said "Good Bye" to our former neighbors and headed out. We did make it almost to where we normally stop for the night, Anderson, Indiana. I actually slept until eight o'clock Sunday morning which is really late for me. We took our time eating breakfast and then completed the trip back. This time not running into the horrific back up due to contruction. All in all an extremely full week, but a good one.